I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
