i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Enjoy the penises
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize