It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
