I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
