cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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