I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
