:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
