so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
