I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
