i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
