READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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