i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
