you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
