Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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