My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
