fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
