Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize