I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize