do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
