see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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