i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
