john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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