she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
