I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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