I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
