It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
