Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
