oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
