Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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