a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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