we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize