I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
