dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize