and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
