Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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