What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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