You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
