im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
