I love black thongs
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
