Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
