I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
