so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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