Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
