He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
