If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize