first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
