The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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