Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
