Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
