Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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