Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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