So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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