You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
