my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
