great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
