We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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