I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
