You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
