I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize