I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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