I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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