If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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