Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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