My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
