I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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