I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize