So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
