I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
