I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
