Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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