I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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