She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
