So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
