I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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