It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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