Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My feet surprised me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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